While my life is usually a rock-around-the-clock affair of bopping between work, kids’ activities, triathlon training, chores, hobbies and socialising, the sands of time have changed. The last few months of 2016 afforded me with some extra grains of spare time. I literally took a break from the pace of ‘rocking around the clock until broad day light’ and filled my dance card with a collection of life moments. Some I have banked for later, others I have learned from and don’t want to revisit.
I feel immensely vulnerable admitting I’ve had moments of loneliness amidst crowds of people. Training for triathlon has become a major part of my life. I do it because I enjoy the physical and mental strength it gives me, however I have realised that I have become a little lax in my non-triathlon, ie. real-world friendships and it’s taken a kick up the butt from the self-absorbed lonely-Larry feelings to force me to make plans with normal people, well, at least think about it. I love having a wide network of friends, so it’s time to make sure I keep that friendship signal strong.
Free time is great, until you have loads of it and fill it with meaningless things (read: procrastinate on Facebook and Instagram) that give me little sense of achievement. I seem to do so much more when I have limited time and feel so much better for it! Conversely, it’s not all futile as I can enter (and win!) amazing competitions (blog about the Endura Tour Down Under to come) and go on adventures almost whenever I want…so, riding and swimming in beautiful locales has been high on my priority list!
Anxiety is a mean beast, who will salivate over you, eat away at little parts of your soul then chew you up and spit you out. Sometimes I feel like I can’t win. I’m uneasy about not training and tracking my swims, rides or runs and other times I’m restless with anticipation of timing or mapping activities for each training session. I haven’t worn a watch or seriously logged any training since returning from Mexico. I was claiming happiness with my internal data meter but still had that curiosity of time, distance, speed and pace after each ride or run.
I can’t bring myself to swim in the indoor pool on a stunning day, especially when I have the alternative of immersing myself in the sparkling salty water of the ocean. This often leads to a lack lustre swim effort but it’s still a little jewel in my thorny swim crown. I also had every intention to visit the gym and actually derive some value from the ‘donation’ I make to them every week. But it is kind of like that feeling of needing to go to the toilet on a long car trip, you can hold out a little longer until you reach the next point where you realize it’s best if you do relieve yourself of the pressure.
New friendships blossom through the mere opportunity of availability. Having no set goals means I’m not tethered to a training program, which contrarily I actually love a little bit of chain and whip action of being regimented and stamping a little smiley face next to articles on my ‘to do list’ in a program. However, it generally means foregoing training with others to suit the masochist demands of triathlon training.
Can plodding mean progress? Well, I’m not sure. I’m still able to race my club races at relatively similar times to my ‘full fitness’ capabilities but I am definitely starting to feel a distinct lack of running fitness as I’m not keeping up with other runners I normally would.
I’m in love with my road bike. My poor old tri bike has been ditched for the roadie. We are currently enjoying a passionate reunion of rolling around hills and cruising along straights. I don’t feel as sharp and fast on the roadie and I do miss being able to rest (not sure that’s the purpose?) in the aero position but it’s comfiness negates all that.
I read this cool summation about the commodity of time.
“If you put any trust in proverbs, you already know that time heals, steals, and flies. And you’re equally aware that time is something we all make and take, save and spend, keep, waste, kill, and lose.”
I guess it sums up the last couple of months of 2016, where I took a break from the pace of triathlon. But really, it ends up being the value you place on time and how profitable you are with spending it that determines your perception, so I’m currently calculating my thoughts on how to best invest my time! Always trying my personal best.