Have you ever watched an action-adventure movie and see that scene where everything seems to be going a bit too smoothly?
As the viewer you almost know that something big is about to happen but the main character seems dopily unawares as their mind drifts off to the wild blue yonder.
Well, picture me – I’m that main character descending a trail on my mountain bike, effortlessly sweeping around berms, navigating gigantic rocky drops (hey, it’s my movie, let’s just go with my version) and mind drifting off in a sea of greenery, until…
Back to that feeling of something about to happen…as the crescendo of the intro to New Order’s ‘Blue Monday’ breaks into the lyrics ‘How does it feel, to treat me like you do?’ my bike decides to become the director of this scene and heads over a huge tree stump jump, instead of down the sensible line.
It truly wasn’t my choice, but I guess if you let your thoughts roam free then the producer (bike) chooses its own direction.
As I snap back to reality, everything goes into slow motion.
It’s almost like I can hear the che-che-che-che sound like the six million dollar man breaking into bionic action. Every movement seems to take place so slowly and it feels like I’m outside my body watching it happen.
Che-che-che: Wheel hits stump – Kylie is jerked back to reality; eyes widen; heart races.
Che-che-che: Wheel tries to roll over jump (that’s meant to launch)– Kylie hopes that the movie miracle gods will pluck her out of the inevitable, as a silent squeal seems to escape as a puff of air.
Che-che-che: Wheel falls into jump pit – Kylie defies gravity and ascends (without the help of any gods) up and over the handle bars; eyes close in denial.
Che-che-che: Bike continues sliding along the hillside – Kylie falls from great heights (both literally and figuratively, for in my head I thought my skills were improving).
Silence: Bike seems to lay, almost mockingly, watching – Kylie meets the crop of rocks with her left knee, making a thwack sound upon impact; sliding face first down the track.
The Blue Monday lyrics fade back in “Tell me how do I feel, Tell me now, how do I feel”
Bike doesn’t want anything to do with Kylie – Kylie lays, squeezing her eyes to hold back tears and tentatively feels her knee to check it’s still attached to her body, as the pain is fierce and mean.
As I lay there, fighting tears and wondering if I can move my leg I’m really annoyed with myself. It was such a dumb mistake, a lack of concentration that led to unnecessary pain.
I’m embarrassed and quickly try to compose myself as I know my mates ahead will be wondering where I disappeared to. I sit up, check my brand new blue jersey for any holes (priorities, right?!), put on my best ‘blue steel’ look and take a selfie to document the event.
I get back on my bike, head towards my mates and choke out a squeaky ‘I’m fine’ and continue on with a throbbing knee and a tattered pride…all to be fixed with coffee and an almond croissant!
While this was only halfway through the adventure, I had trepidation about continuing and that was confirmed when trying to climb the hill out of Hardy’s Bay. I was pedalling like a blue-arse fly, all action but not getting very far!
Making a call to the sag wagon, aka my knight in shining armour (Hubby John), I was able to pedal across the ridgeway to meet him. Of course, I happened to run into a number of friends (hey, Dave!), but in particular bumped into Maz, who I haven’t seen in what feels like a blue moon! A quick catch-up was a great pain distraction and such a bonus to my earlier disappointing efforts.
So, as the week has progressed and my elephant-size swollen knee has impeded my normal fun, it’s left me plenty of time to think about how to avoid the Pandemic Blues.
Don’t beat yourself black and blue
Apart from the obvious of staying upright on my bike, this has deeper meaning too.
I’ve been really cranky with myself.
There is the whole FOMO of everyone else doing my regular activities without me – bloody rude friends, how dare they continue their lives without me! ;P
But there is also the realisation that perhaps I’m not where I want to be with mountain biking. It feels like such a slow process of improving. Constantly balancing fear, comfort zones, confidence and capability is mentally (and in my case, physically) tough.
However, I came across this quote during the week that struck a chord with me, ‘Sometimes it’s harder to hope than it is to fear’ (can’t remember where I heard it?!), which is a nice reminder to cut the cranky and keep hoping (and trying) for improvement, despite the circumstances.
Take a dip in the deep blue
So, while I can’t bend my knee (or find a comfortable position to sleep in atm), one thing I can do is swim!
My regular one-ocean-swim-per-week turned into four swims!
A dip in the deep blue washes away any grievances I have, either that or the cold water just numbs my thoughts. The salt water seems to be like the little blue pill of the adult world – it just keeps me going and going.
The best part – it gave me an opportunity to (finally, after begging until I’m blue in the face) convince my gorgeous daughter to come swimming with me. The other bonus, I got to swim with some new friends, when I normally wouldn’t because I’d be either riding or running!
Find your very own blue wren
I could talk until I’m blue in the face about how proud I am of my mum, Jan(ny) Wren. She is truly beating the Pandemic Blues (and keeping mine at bay too) by staying active. The female blue wren sings to her eggs to ‘teach’ them while they are developing. So, I’m metaphorically listening to my mumma sing. She’s challenging herself with longer and longer walks, adventuring off track and finding ways to mix it up. She’s even joined Strava, so her walks are real in the virtual world too!
Another inspiring blue-wren-esk woman is my friend Dr Elly. Blue wrens forage for food in groups so that everyone in the group benefits. Just like the blue wren, Dr Elly uses her love of cycling to share a message of better health outcomes for Indigenous Australians. Her passion and persistence is inspiring and my type of cray-cray. I’m sure Dr Elly and my other mates (Jaz, Amy, Jess, TK) will fly high with their Alpine Everesting Challenge.
Being true blue
So this week, and possibly a few more with my gammy knee, sing it with me
“Hey true blue
I’m not saying I’m gone [from mountain biking],
I’ve just knocked off for smoko
And I’ll be back la-ater on”
Yep, that’s my second last piece of advice to beat the Pandemic Blues. Just keep trying, though there has to be times when I have a smoko I know I’ll be back to challenge myself. I never want to stop learning and improving!
Enjoy the bl(oo)per reel
Life’s too short not to laugh. I especially love laughing at myself – you may think that sometimes the weirdest things come out of my mouth…that’s usually the normalised version. The conversations that go on in my head are waaaaay more whacky!
What are your preventions or cures to the Pandemic Blues?
Always my PB
xk
myPB 